Choice One

A Child Without Choice

As a child grows, as a cautious parent, I want to keep him or her from harm. There are so many dangers. The media that could affect the little one’s mind, the influences of toxins and chemicals, and all sorts of physical dangers could impact the life of my precious. Knowing this, you provide a safe environment. Video and audio programming is carefully selected and provided on a fixed schedule. Controls for players are removed to prevent access to harmful content. Meals are prepared and provided so that ideal balance is achieved and nothing deviating from wholesome nutrition is introduced. The living area is devoid of any sharp or blunt areas, drops, small objects, large objects, or other hazards.

Wait a minute…Are you saying that the child sees only what you want, when you want and only eats what you give in the portions and timeline you prescribe and further that the child is in a padded room that is more or less empty?

Yes. I want to ensure no harm can come to my child.

But haven’t you taken all meaningful opportunities for the child to choose, to make decisions–to develop tastes, skills and become their own person?

But what if the child were to get harmed? What if the child rejected my advice and direction? It would be ruined!

There is no doubt that you must provide direction and guidance but a child with no opportunity to choose in any way, to fail and get back up, to choose to accept your guidance is not much more than a pile of animated flesh. You have taken all opportunity for the child to be a person and have made it more like an organic machine under your control.

Oh…but how do I go about allowing freedom but also ensuring safety?

You provide opportunities for choice in the gray areas, areas where right/wrong and safety/danger are not blatantly and irreversibly violated. For example, the child does not have to be restrained in the playground unless there is an altercation with another child but the child must hold your hand when crossing the street. In life, if you intend to end up with a real human being there must be choice and the results of each choice must be allowed to play out. As a parent, where a choice would clearly devastate or destroy the child’s life you are obligated to intervene and always you are required to instruct the child in making good choices even though you have given the ability to ignore/disregard your instruction. As the child grows the range of choices grows.

Sounds scary to me.

It is and as the child grows older there will be more opportunities for  difficult or devastating choices. Think about your own life. Would your life be worth living with no choices? Is it safe to even have a child? And on the other hand, don’t you wish there was someone out there who provides some boundaries to keep you away from disaster?

Having no choices would be unacceptable. Not having my child…well, there is so much I would be missing in my life. And…I’ve had some pretty big messes in my life but I can see there are so many worse things that could have happened had some key people not been in my life and if I hadn’t followed some good advice.

Mankind Without Choice

The example should point out from a human perspective the desire for choice and perhaps even need for choice. LORD willing, there will be some future postings where other helpful examples can be provided and a look at what God says about choice.